Hour while the Horses Breakfast settles, so thought I know I could try and whip out a post. Really I should be doing Horatio’s homework with him, or the washing, or even cleaning. But no I have decided I need to do a post.

Now really this should be an easy task, but my laptop likes to make me sit and wait for things, sometimes even the words I have just typed! , Steve assures me it’s not the computer’s fault but actually my own. Pfft I don’t believe that, and so the cycle continues of me having first a pop at the laptop, which then leads to a heated discussion with Steve.

To me one of the most noticeable things since horses have come back into my life, the gadget obsession I had has slowly been squeezed out, obviously I have a mobile and yep I am one of these people who can’t survive without it. Last week we had a power cut for most of the day, so I took Horatio out after school, and my phone just died… it was saying full charge and then just cut out. I was not in a happy place.

There are so many factors that affect my daily mood. Even just the following day deciding on what to get Horatio for his birthday, put me into a Zen place. And left me with a feeling of calm. The problem is those moments don’t last very long because there is always something around the corner to tip the scales again.

You’re probably wondering what all this has to do with dieting and horses, well depending on what mood I am in, determines how good I am on my diet, as well as has a knock on affect to my relationship with Nas. I spoke before of frustration and even just pure downright depression. All these can come happen just because my mood was swung by an unrelated event.

I think that’s the downside of being a woman and hormones playing a big part in our lives.  On the other hand though at least we have that, men are expected to be the strong regardless. Whereas if we have a sudden little outburst you can put it down to time of the month etc.

So what I am trying to say is even though I have had highs and lows this past week, I have identified them and dealt with them, this time not with food. I think a lot of my past has been with me suppressing emotions with food. Yep that old cliché I’m afraid, but it’s true.

Even though gadgets have taken a back burner with me, I have found I am upping the Social media side of things. I’ll admit when I am in a particularly black place I find it hard to drag myself out of it, even to have an online presence. But if I keep an even keel I find that when there are times I could slip down into a dip.

Chatting online with people who are as passionate about me as Horses makes a big difference and even just recently I have been using Facebook more to converse with people.  I know some might think this as sad still, but believe me I thought that. I couldn’t help thinking back to people I have known in the past that would completely absolve themselves into their computers either on a game or a chat room.

Esp. my teenage stepsisters, trying to get a conversation out of them at times was hard – don’t get me wrong I was the same in my online dating days; I hardly looked up from my phone. But I know now that’s a different kind of obsession.

What I am finding is the more I chat and converse online with people the more confident I am to talk to people out of the blue, even yesterday I was chatting to a woman in the hairdressers. Believe me when I tell you I would have been the one just sitting there, looking everywhere but at them. Bizarre I know. Because honestly what had I got to lose.

Having a random good conversation   with someone is actually quite liberating. Literally this has just come to me, maybe all those times I joined diet clubs in the past and would just sit there trying to blend in and not make a fool of myself is one of the factors I never did very well at them.

All these little interactions I have now and the fact I am focusing more on Horatio than myself a lot of the time. Are helping me to keep on with the diet, even if I have a few days I still can’t believe how quick I pick up the reins again and keep at it.

Sure my weight loss has slowed down almost to a standstill.  But you know what I am pleased it hasn’t gone up. And every time I have one of these little revelations I know I am getting closer to my goals.

Right time to muck out and exercise my lump of a horse… who I hadn’t realised had put on quite a bit of weight with the reintroduction of haylage and sugarbeet… numpty me upped his feed just as I started to get busy and didn’t have time to exercise him as much :-s