So I,ve been bad again this weekend, bit of family stress is always good for zapping my mood. Add to that I,ve felt ridiculously hungry, it’s crazy yesterday I was literally like a horse I was grazing all day. And well into the evening, even when I thought I could eat no more, I swear my stomach was grumbling. What I don’t understand is when I do eat loads ok it makes me look like I,ve ballooned, but that’s only on the outside, inside I still feel bloody hungry!

I,m not even sure where it started this weekend, I think it was the fact i had already eaten my days quota by lunchtime on Saturday, it was just me and Horatio, Hubby was away until that evening. Well there has been a bit of a saga in our house, about a particular mcdonalds toy… We had been last week and they didn’t have the said advertised toys, except for a cup. Unfortunately that doesn’t cut it for a three year old. So rather than let him be disappointed I took him to a different mcdonalds and luckily he got the scooby doo. And of course I had to have a meal as well.

Sunday we had a chilled family day, which ended up at pizza hut. Yesterday I was all set to be good, but then Hubby suggested Chinese, argh. So here we are tuesday 18th january and I,m still hovering around 324lbs.

I wouldn’t say I had a particularly good weekend either or that I enjoyed the food I did eat in fact I would say more often than not that it really didn’t taste as good as My mind was telling me it would. It sort of dawned on me this morning that once again we spent £60 on two meals out that would of been just as nice if we had done them at home, I think the real problem for us is sometimes we use the excuse to eat out as a reason to go out, ESP if we,ve been in the house all day. for what we spent on meals i could of got Nas the rambo fleece i want.

I feel lost on the days i over eat, i wish there was a way of explaining it easier. I dont settle my mind is shifting from one negative to another, half the time i dont even know what i want to eat. i just end up eating everything and not enjoying any of it. If you compare that to a day where i,m being good, i’m more positive, I get alot more done in the day. I know what i want and i thoroughly enjoy it. Bizarre.

Today i’m being good, its a Nas day, the sun is shining and he is having a little longer out in the field. Then let the groomathon begin. We’re also going to start his fittening programme with 30mins of walking in hand and some passive stretches.