What…
I didn’t last very long on the dark side yesterday, I quickly got sucked into a black hole of self-despair and depression. And we all know the way out of one of those is to eat chocolate -or whatever your weakness food is- you have to eat quite a bit so you can use the wrappers to heave yourself out.
I’m being a bit of a stress bucket at the moment, there are changes happening, and whereas normally I can be quite positive and say bring it on! I find that harder to do now we have Horatio and the responsibilities of the animals etc.
You probably saw the picture of what I had for breakfast… fairly generic not too much oaty cereal. It wasn’t as tasty as the Dorset cereal, but at less than half the price I can’t say I was surprised. Still it was ok!
I then got on with cleaning the house, it’s been a long time coming (can’t believe we’ve been here a month now). I finished tidying upstairs, mainly Horatio’s room again! And then I hovered polished mopped and scrubbed.
When I stopped for lunch… I tried to load a picture up but it wouldn’t go for some reason. So I shall tell you what I had… a cheese and pickle sandwich, packet of hula hoops and a one of those new Twix biscuit things. Not bad not great.
Somewhere between the crisps and Twix my head was already starting to nag at me… “it’s too much” “you won’t lose weight” “eating all this” “and besides your still hungry” “it’s not enough” “you might as well have more” “you’ve ruined it anyway” “hah you think you can lose weight eating like this” “see this is what happens when you have breakfast”
yep all that was going on in my head as I was finishing off my lunch… it didn’t take much persuasion for me to rummage through the basket and find something else to nibble on. And I’m ashamed to say that is basically how my day continued…. I actually ended up eating 2 more sandwiches one marmite and one with peanut butter. I also made a big dent in the treat basket. And dinner was pie and chips from the chippy followed by dairy milk!
Talk about an epic fail -just point out I did keep on with the cleaning and managed to finally do the oven and downstairs toilet/wet room-.
Pfft I don’t know why my brain has these mental blocks and tries to rebel. ( yes I know I should be the one in control, but I bet I’m not the only one like this) the cereal did leave me bloated in the morning, which is that funny kind of feeling where you know you’ve eaten but not really satisfied anything.
And I am such a big believer in everything I eat I should enjoy 100%. When you’re on a diet you are trying to cut back but why does that mean you should make do with foods that your palate really isn’t that keen on. And why waste what precious calories eating the foods you don’t really enjoy.
Sure you could argue eating them has got you to this point, where you are overweight. I don’t believe it’s the food that has done that. It’s there in black and white you OVER ate the food that made you OVERweight.