I was flicking through the channels last night, and I happened across The Biggest Loser, now the last series that was on in the UK, I really got into (some would almost say obsessively). Ultimately it didn’t really inspire me to lose any weight. It just made me realise a few of the dieting myths that we hear all the time are utter BS.

This time I started to watch it and you know what… I just couldn’t I didn’t want to sit there watching these poor people being shouted at and be made an example off. I just couldn’t do it. So anyway last night I came across it. It’s nearing the end of the series and they were with Richard in Cyprus I think, (ooh very nice) they were burning something… I don’t know what it was so I’m going to guess clothes or something, there was a lot of emotional talk on how they were never going to get big again and now they were on the right track blah blah oh and lots of tears.

I just thought why put that pressure on yourself. Why not just live for the here and now (ok I know it’s TV). I mean I don’t want to put the weight I’ve lost recently back on, I know though if I sit here thinking like that at some point I will have a meltdown and go buy more shares in Cadburys (ok Kraft foods) but you know what I mean. Losing weight and keeping it off is about changing habits and a mind-set, not one of deprivation or fear. It’s about living life to the full so much that food isn’t your only comfort/joy/fulfilment of course food is always going to be there but so is the big wide world.

I know it’s easier said than done, believe me when I was single the only time my dogs got a walk was when the guilt had built up too much. I use to choose to go to the garage each night spend whatever cash I had on chocolate and then sit there night after night on my own (all my friends were in relationships, well the two friends I had at that time). I use to think when I have money I’ll lose weight join some clubs and get a life. Pah! Luckily I met Hubby and my life changed. But I still wasted a good few years stagnating in my own self-made hell. Of no money, too fat, no life and a fear of the what if…

It leads me to a thought I had after watching twin peaks a few weeks ago about fear… And the words of Dale Cooper: All things considered, being shot is not as bad as I always thought it might be. As long as you can keep the fear from your mind. I guess you could say that about most anything in life. It’s not so bad as long as you can keep the fear from your mind. Really got me thinking and When I heard that I thought YES that’s it the fear, stops me as much as the food. The fear of failing yet another diet, the fear of actually losing weight and it not being all it’s cracked up to be. I suppose the biggest one in my mind if I’m totally honest is the fear of when I do start riding (which we all know is and can be a dangerous sport)is something happening to me that leaves my son without a fully functioning mummy or worst case scenario a mummy at all.

I know where these fears stem from; it’s all to do with when I lost my first husband and my own mum. And as much as I know I shouldn’t let them rule me… (I can’t say they are irrational fears, because I know anything is possible) there are times when they take over. There is a school of thought that says you should embrace the fear, I personally don’t want to do that anymore. Same as with my weight problem I want to stop focusing on it and giving IT life. I want MY LIFE back. So in the words of Dale Cooper:

Life is not so bad as long as you can keep the fear from your mind.