I shall attempt canter, yep the time has come for me to have a go at cantering, no point going to the beach if I can’t canter hey!  I have been upping Nas’s canter work on the lunge in anticipation of this day. Generally I don’t do much canter work with him, knowing how hard work it is and it usually takes a while to get his fitness up.

Like I keep saying though beach day is now fast approaching, I haven’t actually ridden since last week when the video of me walking up the road was filmed.  It’s been a combination of shitty weather shitty mood. Oh and don’t forget the Easter Holidays.

It looks again today is going to be another shitty weather day, I know we need the rain  etc. it’s just the cold I am fed up with now, I want some sun to lift my spirits and motivate me into eating an apple.  Talking of eating yesterday was a very bad day, I was silly to think it wouldn’t have been the boy’s first day back at school and I thought I would get loads done, yeah right I just collapsed.

My motivation lasted until I got all my paperwork and parcels wrapped ready for posting and then my body just went zoink I’m done for the day. My stomach then piped up I’m not! This was convenient for my stomach seeing as we were in a supermarket at the time.  So today I don’t have all the good vibes I had yesterday but I do have quiet determination this is the day I get back on track.

I hate the fact I can’t seem to be good even now I am riding Nas, every so often I get flash thoughts of I shouldn’t ride him I’m too heavy. The beach will be too much etc. etc.  I say all I want to do is ride and yet my weight is still high, it ‘not like I don’t want it.  But for some reason I always pick the easiest thing to make me happy e.g. chocolate.

That’s it now, if nothing else the chocolate bars have to stop. So I’m taking them back out the equation and not having chocolate. I hate saying point blank I can’t have something but chocolate it may trigger, if I have the chocolate I think I might as well have. Take yesterday for example even after the porridge it stayed on track with soup for lunch.

I then went to the supermarket and had a bit of a blow out –sausage rolls, meringue, boost- the boost is what started it because I needed a pound for the trolley and rather than grab some mints I picked up a chocolate bar eugh why do I do it. Then last night we had planned to cook but because I was feeling crappy and a bit pissed off we opted for kebab! I know I know, how bad I. am it all just seemed to spiral from the boost.

What I’m saying is I am not at the point where I can have just one chocolate bar! I need to go cold turkey for a bit and try to gain control with the other eating in my life before I allow chocolate back in and fingers crossed this time I will keep it under control.

Back to Nas and my weight, despite my negative thoughts I can tell from the video’s he’s still fine with me on his back. This week we have to up our game a bit to get me a bit more confident in the saddle before Sunday. I was meant to ride yesterday but it didn’t happen, so the plan is to ride him over the next few days and see how he’s feeling.

Obviously if he shows any sign of soreness anywhere then we won’t be going to the beach.  I walked the route we are doing at the beach last week and it’s about a mile round trip. So even if I only do that it should be no strain to him. We’ll see on the day though how we are both feeling.

All I need now is for the weather to clear up!