As the title really its time for a new goal, with renewed focus and resolve. This was my weight as of this morning, I’ve decided that I’m going to be better of working in kg from now on ( you know me and my round numbers) I’m quite pleased my starting weight is 149.9kg not only because I thought it was going to be more like 152kg. Because it means my goal is now to 99.9kg for those that can’t be arsed to convert its about 15st I believe.

So you read it here first my new goal is to lose 50kg.

There was a time when the number on the scales would have an outright effect on my mood over the day. Now I seem to be more in control of that side, when I binge now it’s not to do with how much I weighed that day. More often than not I eat now out of stress, or boredom, I wouldn’t even say I’m a full on emotional eater anymore. Just there are some things I still like to hide from, and the easiest way for me to do that is to buy a load of junk food and some trashy magazines. It’s the easiest way for me to lose myself and not have to deal with what’s really going on.

Anyway back to the scales, my usual routine is to get up go toilet, weigh. This was happening everyday pretty much, the only day I kind of didn’t was the odd Sunday. So I’ve been thinking for a while now if what I was doing, was right or wrong?. Like I said either way it has no relation to how good or bad I am on that day. It’s something that I haven’t put too much thought into, but when I do think about it. I always kind of thought when I did get to a weight I was happy with i would use my clothes as a gauge to whether I am putting on weight again or not. There is one slight flaw to this… clothes often stretch with you, and in some ways you have to be more aware of yourself.

Think about it… though do you really want the scales to be a part of your life for the rest of your life?

I’m thinking no I don’t. So really I should start weaning myself of them now. I had a bit of a challenge this week with a friend to help me, now I know she can’t see me. And I won’t deny it hasn’t crossed my mind a few times. It sort of comes in waves where I have a minor meltdown thinking i don’t know what i weigh I need to know. I’ve been so good with my food and extra exercise I NEED to know… but I didn’t and still haven’t got on them. Luckily my scales have a detachable screen that I plug into pc to get the fat percentages etc. This makes it easier to not get on, seeing as I have hidden that part!

Originally I had planned Monday would be my weigh in day… Hmm but  then thought ok Sunday would be a good day. And then that way I could have Sunday as my relaxed day! We all know at this stage saying any day is a relaxed day is almost like code for eat what you like that day. Ooh look I said eat what you like as if it’s a bad thing… what I meant was eat as much as you like… on my diet no food is off limits, it’s the quantities I’m trying to watch. 

I think I will stick to Monday as my weigh in day for the moment, I’m also thinking rather than do a body fat monitor monthly I will do this every week – if I’m honest I’m hoping it will make the graph on the pc look a little bit healthier – I’ve also changed the measurement back from just pounds to stones and pounds, initially I thought pounds would be easier for me to focus on one pound at a time. It was it got me from the 25st mark down to almost seeing 22st (ok 22st 13lbs lol) so now I’ve switched back I’m going to start focusing on shifting those stones.  I’m know where I am with stones, when it was just pounds I was always trying to convert it back to stones in my head.  Don’t even mention kg to me… there is no way I would be able to work that out in my head.