Today I have woken up hungry and feeling fat… the new jodhpurs I was going to wear have a faulty zip. So I decided to put the only other clean item I have on… dreaded jeans! Why is it so impossible to find a pair that fit right. Either they are too big and fall down or they are too tight and pull themselves down.

Still I won’t let it deter me. I am officially back on the wagon and this is where I am staying until my weight is finally down once and for all. I’m going to be logging all here, my daily weigh ins, what I eat and what extra activities I do. Yesterday my extra activity was the ironing! Such a chore.

As for Nas he is once again having a holiday, everywhere is under a foot of snow and its showing no sign of clearing anytime soon. I am being a meanie mum though and turfing him out with the ponies for most of the day.

At least that way he get to stretch his legs. Oh and as you can see from the video he likes to pay it forward (the meanie-ness that is) I think he kind of likes them Not! Still he would defo moan more if he was out there on his own.

Since then I have really struggled to the point of not even attempting to follow any kind of plan in fact I am eating what I want when I want (everything & all day) I feel so tired and deflated at the moment we had such a great day on the yard a few weeks ago now, I’m finding it hard to replicate the enthusiasm I had then.

I even have new jodhpurs I wanted to do a review about. There was even going to be a winter wholly shows this Sunday. But due to the trailer we were going to use being on the wonk it’s since been cancelled. still even that wasn’t enough to pull me out of this funk I am in, It’s like I can’t find anything to be excited about.

Even food isn’t exciting me, I’m eating because I can’t think of anything better to do –oh and because it’s there of course- I feel tired and headachy most days to the point of just wanting to lie on the sofa. Obviously I don’t and I try to push on with chores etc. but I can’t help this feeling of melancholy that I can’t seem to shift.

I’m picking up some bad eating habits, some which I didn’t even do over Christmas, eating in the morning, today I’ve had 2 snickers. Our eating plan is all out of synch because of me; I’m eating at funny times and then don’t feel hungry or have the energy to prepare proper meals. So then we snack more.

I have no energy whatsoever; I was just cursing Nas for making me walk the length of the school more times than I needed to because he decided he would rather not go out in the snow!

Yes we have snow! And I have to admit it did bring the big kid out in me last night, when I and the boy went out for a snowball fight. You can really tell how much he has grown up, now rather than crying when he falls over he now makes a snow angel, in his pj’s!

It was fun, but knackering we ended up sleeping in this morning until almost eight! Which is another thing I think I mentioned? It’s a struggle to get out of bed in the mornings, I feel achy and tired before I begin and today I had the added grumps of not wanting to feel too crowded. Which is hard when you have 4cats, 3dogs, and a 5yr old?

Detox! I hear you all say, and I don’t think you’re too from the mark there. But I’m thinking my kind of detox, we had a lot of takeaways recently and we’ve eaten a lot of easy foods. As well as been filling up on processed foods and cheap confectionary. Choc ice gems and similar have been staples of my diet recently!

We need to start eating more home cooked meals again. It’s gotten a bit silly recently and as much as takeaways are convenient they often leave you feeling a bit bleugh. It’s the same for home baked goodies except they do usually taste nicer than shop bought and keep you full up for longer. It’s also a hell of a lot cheaper than buying them.

As for the exercise, I’m sure the boy will have me out there again later making a snowman tired or not. And after realising how much it was hurting my feet to walk that extra length of the school it’s time to give myself that kick up the jacksy I was on about. And drag out those toning books I got before Christmas.

Nas was clipped the other day and is now acting like he’s a foal again, prancing all over the place and spooking at anything (esp. scary horse eating mounds of snow). He didn’t get to go out yesterday; because he’s shod he ends up with snow shoes.  So we had a wander around the school but he was on his toes to do any real work. I managed to get him out a bit this morning, but he’s still being a bit of an idiot. So I’ve got to start doing more with him so he gets some manners back, not easy when weather is like this.

And to my weight… argh it’s still hovering at 330lbs talk about a plateau and i don’t expect the hot toast and jam i just had will help either. as it’s the first i today, i did a full analysis of my weigh I’ve lost ten pounds since last month, which i suppose isn’t bad considering the amount of bad days i have, I’m going to relax over the next couple of days until Saturday 4th December when I’m going to start afresh.