Realising I still haven’t got a grasp on treats yet. This is one of those funny posts, because on the one hand I don’t agree with the food as treats theory, but on the other I kind of do. Only last night in a bid to stop Horatio having a meltdown at school, I told him we were going to McDonalds for dinner.

It did the trick and stopped him crying. Now I know some will disagree with my parenting methods, however they work for me and we have a lovely family life. And obviously because I am regulating his treats/snacks etc. I can turn around and say enough is enough.

For my own treats though I find this quite hard. If I treat myself there is a possibility  of three outcomes

A, I find it’s enough to satisfy and I continue on the good wagon.

B, I go into treat hyper drive and want more and more.

C, I go into guilt mode, stressing that I’ve blown it.

The most dangerous is C in the past if I let it the negative thoughts would end up with me breaking the diet so much I would go into a mini depression until I found another fad diet to start.

Recently I thought I would try breaking it up a little rather than having something sweet after lunch I would have a couple of biscuits with my coffee in the morning. This all started because for a couple of days I woke up absolutely starving. Sure enough on those days it worked I would have a couple and get on with the day.

But then suddenly I found the biscuits weren’t enough and i ended up having toast before 10am… which isn’t a bad thing if i could then get my arse into gear for rest of day, but I cant I then don’t want to do anything apart from watch daytime TV.

So I’ve nipped that in the bud for the minute until I either have more control to say actually today I don’t need/fancy a biscuit. Rather than just eating out of habit. Or because my weight is down enough and being maintained by the extra activity, that it won’t hurt having a biscuit or two.

One positive of this week is, in the past I couldn’t fathom people that would just take one or two biscuits and very studiously sit there nibbling them. I’m from the either eat nothing or the whole packet walk of life and these alien people that found satisfaction from ONE biscuit used to baffle me. But now I can understand that actually you get as much enjoyment from one or two biscuits as you do from the whole packet.

It’s only the pigginess in me that makes me think I need more. This is a classic example of how a fat person gets fat, because we are always fighting that urge to push the limits. Even now as I type I’m thinking hmm surely Three biscuits wouldn’t do much harm –three is a much nicer rounder number, in fact 6 is much better – see where I am going with this?

I don’t know what it is inside of me that try to push it but I can tell you it’s not always a conscious decision for me to over eat. And the really daft thing is I don’t actually mind the feeling of being hungry anymore. When I’m hungry I know I am doing something right.