I know i shouldn’t do it, but sometimes i just can’t help myself it’s a bit like getting on the scales a 2nd or even 3rd time to check they are right, only to get pissed off when they make me heavier and then don’t go back to the original weight. Today i decided to put all the weights I’ve logged onto twitter into a spread sheet, i then worked out that if on the occasions where i put on weight, that if i had lost new pounds not the ones already lost. I would actually be a stone lighter by now. I know i shouldn’t have done it, to be honest i think i was in a fed up mood before i even started this morning i woke up quite bloated from last night’s dinner that actually wasn’t that nice and the scales struggled to keep me at the same weight. I’m very tired and although I’m not really craving it, i am thinking about having a chocolate pig out, (time for trebor mint i think).

 Why is this, i know what i need to do to lose weight and i want to lose weight more than anything. it’s like something is tugging at me saying ‘oh well Christmas is nearly here you might as well wait until the new year blah blah’…. but it’s actually 30 days until Christmas and if i was to go back to eating exactly what i want I’m sure i would put the 20 odd pounds back on by then. and it’s not even like I’m living on lettuce leaves i had pecan tart last night (again not as nice as expected) my mum once commented that it’s all about the flavours for me finding that new comfort food taste. which is kind of true, if we go shopping and i buy a few “new” items, regardless of what they are i have to try them as soon as i get home. I have managed to combat that a little bit now by only having a single bite of something new. Think i am going to have to pull out my reserve will power for today. As well as try and eat a bit healthier than yesterday.

Yeah you read right earlier, its 30days until Christmas, which means four more shopping weekends, ARGH.