It would be wrong of me to write a post on mummies day without mentioning my mum, I.ve said before how she died a few years ago (9yrs). She was 43 at the time a size 8 and was enjoying life. She went out one night with her boyfriend for a curry. From what I know she had a few beers so ended up on the bathroom floor hugging the toilet. She died in her sleep on the bathroom floor.

 

Like all mother daughter relationships it could be a bit strained at times, but generally we got on and spent a lot of time together. It wasn’t unusual for me to speak to my mum a few times a day. As a child she was a good mum, and always had mine and my brothers best interest at heart. 

 

I have mentioned a few times about her disappointment in me being over weight, and the diets we tried together, my mum could be big at times. But then she would control it and be what you would call skinny. It was these time I got to see the nastiness in people when they would pretend to jokingly call her AA (alcoholic anorexic). My mum who was also no angel, seemed to take it in her stride with the odd comment about how much smaller she was than they were.

 

I don’t really resent her for the diets, I know it wasn’t for aesthetic reasons. If any one saw how unhappy I was being fat it was my mum. If any one knew how hard I found it not being able to do the things I wanted it was my mum. We were both quite similar in the fact we use chocolate and goodies as treats. I’m sure if our financial situation had been different then it would of been another story. It was just the cheapest option (chocolate was cheap back then) my mum loved to shop but we just didn’t have the money.

 

For a long time my mum and dad lived in rented accommodation, and life was a bit stressful. All my mum ever wanted was for us to have our own home and to be a bit more financially secure. which I suppose is what any body would want. For themselves and their kids. I am fortunate enough now to have a nice home (rented) and to be able to afford NAS. I believe everyone deserves to have a secure home, I do think if I got into it about the rights and wrongs of this country. I wouldn’t stop typing lol. So let’s just say I love this country, I love the countryside and the English villages. As much as I love the hustle and bustle of the cities.

So I  was watching this programme the other night -supersize vs super skinny KIDS- hmm in general it was ok and there is something likeable about dr Christian jessen. (hehe I even remembered his name from memory). However I did get really upset when I saw a 13yr old American girl tell the camera that gastric bypass surgery was her only choice… Generally I want to steer clear of the surgery argument, it’s a personal decision and although I wouldn’t do it myself now. I know there have been times I would of.

Imagine though being 13yrs old and thinking your only hope of a full life is to have a potentially  life threatening operation, Now that I think is wrong. Do we blame the parents, or society or even the surgeons for making such an operation accessible for someone so young. -one point i would like to make here, is I have read a few stories about surgery and it isn’t the quick fix you think it’s going to be, in fact I would say it’s harder. You still have to follow a diet and. At the end of day you are going to have to deny your body certain foods for the rest of your life- not only are you denying your body you’re mind and soul need a thought to.

 I suppose It doesn’t help, looking for someone to blame. It won’t turn back the clock or stop the teenager eating another bag of crisps. Even a strict diet in this case won’t work, hmm in fact it hardly ever works. For me it comes down to two things nope three things… (ooh I,m liking my lists at the moment)

 1, Self awareness, there are too many teenagers/kids nowadays that really have no idea how their body works. so how can they learn to recognise what their body is telling them. 

 2, Live your Dreams, you should no matter what your size/disability be a ble to live a full happy life. Ok your not going to be able to ride the rides at a theme park if you are over 25st but you can get lost in the maze and have fun, ok it might be hard work to walk but hey that’s half the fun of it.

 3, You are in control, No one else can tell you what to do, when you over eat it’s you doing it, not that stressful moment earlier. ONLY YOU can make the decision not to eat something. There is a big blame culture going on in society today…

To Be Honest I to am guilty of all of these… hence my diet is a journey not just a pit stop.

 I don’t know what age you would assign responsibility to a child, however I do know I am always trying to get Horatio to make is own decisions, and to understand the consequences of those choices, I know he’s only four and to be hones there aren’t that many things that he does get to choose for himself. But when they Arise I let him make the choice. As for food at this age he pretty much gets what we let him, there have been times when we let him take the whole biscuit box to the table, and although he eats quite a few of them I would say the dogs get they’re equal share.

I have a burning need to get Horatio everything he wants… Yes i know I am bringing up a spoilt child, equally he gets a lot of love and attention. It’s even got to the point recently where i had a dream about frosties cereal having a toy in the box – he,s at that age now where those crappy lil bit’s of plastic, can create a world of wonder and excitement for him. He saw it on an episode of peppa pig and is now convinced that you get a toy with cereal. We are also trying to wean him of kinder eggs-

 

I,ve never been one of those carrot stick mums, I just couldn’t give my child something that I know I wouldn’t enjoy. Ok if he took a liking to them then yes I would give him them. This might sound a bit harsh but the kind of insipid kids that I see eating food mainly containing water are miserable (obviously I know there are some who thrive on a more natural diet). What I want for Horatio, is an unconscious process where he has the right balance of food and exercise, there was becoming a point where he wouldn’t walk anywhere and if we went on a walk he would be on daddy’s shoulders. We’ve stopped that now and he can easily walk 3miles with us. Sure we have to entice him towards the end with thoughts of lunch or ice cream. I do want Horatio to enjoy food, and not to see it as the enemy.

 

 The one thing I have noticed with him is he just won’t eat for the sake of it all the time, sure when he,s in front of the tv he will munch, but not for long. In fact I would say he often leaves more than he eats. His weight has stayed the same for ages, he has been around 2st 6lbs now for ages.

 

As much as I love being a mum… Being a parent is one of the most stressful things I have experienced, we all want the best for our kids. And to have happy healthy bundles of joy. I know now what my mum went through (she was a big worrier). All I can hope is that when Horatio grows up, he’ll appreciate the childhood we are giving him.