Whenever I talk to one of my oldest friends when our lives feel like the are in a bit of a spiral, she often comments its time to grow up. She doesn’t have the same niggles as me, but we do seem to keep on this eternal spiral of up and down with our lives. A bit like a game of swing ball, its often when she is up I am down and vice versa.

Still her words rung true with me after yesterday’s post. I was a bit hey ho, about everything and couldn’t pull myself together. In the end I had a good think about stuff decided on a plan and then headed out to buy some goodies. Yep I bought Cadbury’s I know I’m bad, I just couldn’t resist I needed some to calm and to set me up for the plan.

So today is a clean slate as for me. I sat down with the boy yesterday and worked out my times for eating. I’m going to think of it like shift work I will have days when I am on a late or an early. Late days mean I won’t have lunch until about one, then dinner will be about 8pm. On an early day I will have brunch around 11am and then dinner about 5 or 6pm. I’m going to stick to the two meals aday again and try to exclude the sweet treats I’ve been sneaking in.

So yep no desserts in the week, at weekends I think I will still allow them as they are our real downtime days again now and I want to enjoy them. I might have them with my meals or separate them, so that on a Saturday when me and Steve are waiting for the boy I won’t feel guilty about the caramel slice I’m having with my coffee. Also for this week only I am allowing myself a couple of biscuits with my morning coffee. It’s to try and take the edge of my hunger.

I’m hoping to phase these out once the boy is back at school, and I am on the go more. I will also be freer to get out on the yard earlier. If I do have a school mom over or i meet someone for coffee though it means I won’t have to be unsociable. I’m going to stop the home baking for a bit and just make sure I have a nice supply of biscuits in the house. It will also do me good to try and show some self control again.

I can’t believe there was a time when I had a stock of chocolate in the house and I didn’t binge eat it all. Then again it’s hard to believe there was a time I was walking the dogs regularly and my fitness and diet was all going in the right direction. And here I am again back in the same position I was a couple of years ago. So like my friend said its time to grow up and sort it once and for all.