The Problem with constantly restarting a diet is you have to go through the phases again. And if you’re like me then you end up doing them again and again. And it never gets any easier if you ask me. I’ve been back on track now for a week and anything could trigger me at this point into saying blow it I want Cadburys.

Sometimes I don’t even need a trigger, before I even know why I am eating copious amounts of chocolate. It also has no relevance to external influences:  rain or shine, skint or flush, bad or good. There is no explaining someday why I do the things I do. Sure I often set myself up for failure by buying something I intend to have at a later date.

The amount of times I have been at a function and refused food only to stop on the way home I then over compensate for my earlier abstinence and usually end up feeling sick. The good thing about the plan I am on at the moment is eating between meals isn’t an option.

Believe me in the past I have eaten my entire allowance just on the snacks…  and talk about arse about tit I even once used to start my point day in the evening on the evening meal. Which on occasion would take up my whole allowance, I remember once having half a point for the whole day.

Even last night I was tempting myself with thoughts of what I could find in the kitchen,  in the end I took myself up to bed in an attempt to stop myself raiding the cupboards. It worked but the down side is I had a restless night and now I am tired I am more liable to say sod it.

Still I will be strong and hold out until Sunday when I get to weigh again and see if all my hunger pangs have been worth it. I’m really hoping to be back below 22stone. Just open I can keep on top of the cravings until then J

If you’re curious my phases of dieting are:

Day one: feeling kind of good, a little bit hungry but if motivation levels are high I would almost say I’m smug.

Day two: feeling a bit hungrier, still motivated and thinking of the end goal. Definitely more toilet stops.

Day three: the tough one wake up hungry and tired from middle of the night toilet stops.

Days four & five: no energy beyond 8pm could quite easily crawl under the duvet and hibernate.

Day 7+: generally fed up, beginning to think about the foods I haven’t had. And is it really all worth it. And a lot of self-doubt.

Even though some clothes feel looser others don’t. Even though I know I’ve been good I start telling myself hmm well was that XL burger really being that good.  The doubting is the worse and most destructive side effect it’s the one that is most likely going to lead to me breaking my plan.

Overall though I know I am eating less and if I need proof I just have to listen to my tummy.